Day Three: Night and Day Roll in to One.

One of the biggest issues I face on a regular basis is sleep. I either can’t get enough, as in.. fast asleep for 18hrs and still feeling like more is needed or it takes me 4hrs to fall asleep for 20mins and then I’m awake again or I don’t get any at all. It’s often misinterpreted that having bipolar means that you have extreme mood fluctuations. Yes, this happens also but the basic functions of life, that most take for granted are also deeply impacted.. appetite, sleep, concentration. I often go days with little to no sleep. As they start to back up on each other, I feel other parts of my personality slip away. I become blank, lifeless and intolerant to everyone and everything. I feel an anger inside that I can’t explain and anyone who dares to step in front of me can wear a full tirade over the simplest of things. Much of the time I’m not even aware that I’m behaving differently. It will take someone to say “you’re being weird today”, and “sometimes” I catch on. When I’m aware of how easily agitated I am, I try to remove myself from all contact with the outside world. I feel like I’m poison to everyone I come in contact with. Today is either day 2 or 3 of only getting a couple of hours sleep each night. I’m starting to feel very restless and anxious about the inevitable decline in my mood. Look out world.

Published by inknots2day

Hi. My name is Chris but I'd rather be know here by my username; inknots2day. I live in Australia and I suffer from bipolar 1 disorder, OCD and I have been the victim of sexual assault and domestic violence.

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