Far from a good start to the day which has resulted in a lonely Friday night deep in thought. I keep getting an old quote in my head, the one about futility being that of making a mistake and repeating it while expecting a different outcome. Yep, that sounds like me alright. Many things bug me about being bipolar, but one that often stands out above most is that it’s easier to make something worse than better and I seem to be just begging to be miserable some days… like I deserve to be. I can say in words that I know I deserve to be happy but they are only words and it doesn’t change the way I feel, behave or react. It would be so much easier to sleep days like today away and not have to deal with anything or anyone. At least then other people wouldn’t be so effected by my moods. So my parting words for day two of my public online journey are this, sorry to the world that I came in any contact with today, I should have stayed in bed.